Monday, November 5, 2012

Soapbox Issue : BASIC Gym Ettiquette

Okay. Two posts in one day. I can't help it. I have ranted about this before. I am ranting again.

For reference:

This is a great summary of my thoughts on basic GYM ettiqutte for your review ... before I launch into this story.

I go to the gym at lunch during most work days. 1) It keeps me from spending money during the workday by going out to lunch with coworkers. 2) I like it ... for the most part.

Today I hopped on the spin bike to blast out an all-out 30 minute rumble. The second part of the plan was an all-out 400m swim. I suppose the circumstances caused me to push even harder than I would have otherwise.

So there are a set of guys that generally irk me while I am in the gym trying to better myself and somehow staying out of everyone's business. Let me label them - and this is based on many many hours of listening to their ramblings. I feel like I know them even though I have never uttered a word to most of them.

1) Stock Market Genius
2) Grumpy Old Marine
3) Too Curious
4) Too Comfortble Naked
5) Shaggy Dog
6) Wrinkles
7) Bragtastic
8) Flappy

Let me start here ... for months all these gentlemen have done is:

1) Not worked out
2) Talked about politics or all their millions of dollars

This nice little old lady walks up to one of the recumbent spin bikes that is unoccupied and Stock Market Genius walks over and says "Hey, I am using this!"

I was shocked. She moved on - without a peep. I really really really wanted to say something. I rose above it and used the fury on the bike.

Understand this ... during the exchange Stock Market Genius (SMG) was standing in front of Grumpy Old Marine (GOM) who was daintily pedaling his spin bike and they were trading political barbs ... even though I believe they are on the same side.

Flappy and Bragtastic were on two other recumbent spinners and were also interjecting their opinions into the conversation. So as not to be drown out by the buzz of the treadmills and stairmasters they made certain their opinions were heard.

Even though I did not speak up and help the lady out I do feel as though at least one of the other gentlemen should have told SMG to allow her to have the bike while he continued his circular politico conversation. One would tend to believe that GOM would be the one to correct the situation but perhaps I am overgeneralizing the Marine Corp populous.

Bryonman - what the hell are you rambling about? What is the point?

1) If you are at the gym please workout. At least fake it. If you are not there to workout - cancel the membership and start a meetup group that sits at a coffee shop to discuss whatever you want to discuss.

2) Do not bully others while hiding behind a mob mentality - especially those who are genuinely there to workout. It is shameful to see adults behaving like middle-schoolers.

Slight topic shift -

If you are showering at the gym:

1) Don't hover and/or linger in the locker room. It's weird.
2) If you ARE using the locker room as a "hangout" ... let's not take "hangout" so literal. Cover it up. That's for you Flappy and Wrinkles.
3) The hand dryer is not a body drier. Stop it.

If I have offended you ... you might consider your own use of the gym.


  1. Bubba! you are so right on!!!! I find the same scenario at just about every gym! Your presentation was hillarous!

    1. Thanks Sharky -- It's nice to know I'm not the only one suffering.

  2. We have a guy at our gym that thinks the paper towel dispenser is his shower towel. He'll literally walk out of the shower, completely naked, walk over to the paper towels and dry off in front of the mirror.

    1. This is not surprising. I see it every day. I should not have to see it every day.